


Sugarcrash

by CowboyTriesWriting



Category: DreamSMP
Genre: Abuse, Depression, M/M, mlm, serotonin deficiency
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:20:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29934693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CowboyTriesWriting/pseuds/CowboyTriesWriting
Summary: This was also posted on wattpad under the username CowboyTriesWriting. That's me I'm the author cowboy hi hi hiAnyways tw/cw depression, abuse, not taking care of yourself.FINAL NOTES:Hi Author here just wanted to tell you some things about serotonin deficiency!*I'M NOT AN EXPERT AND I DO NOT HAVE THIS DISORDER*Serotonin is one of the chemicals in your brain that makes you happy. It does more than that but that's the basic description.Lack of serotonin/serotonin deficiency can cause eating disorders, depression, and OCD. As someone who's only gone through being depressed and a struggle with eating I'm only going to write about those things. I'm also not diagnosed with anything so if I do anything wrong please tell me so I can fix it!
Relationships: Karl Jacobs - Relationship, Sapnap - Relationship, karlnnap
Kudos: 1





	Sugarcrash

Sapnap was born with serotonin deficiency; it was something he was used to living with. The struggle of getting up, eating properly. He had been on meds for this since he was 14 but recently stopped taking them claiming he was happier and they were just holding him back. That being said he wasn't happy or healthy. Throughout this last year he'd slowly grown more and more depressed. He got in a habit of sleeping his days away. He was getting thinner, standing up made him light headed and taking care of himself at all had just gone out the window.

People had started to notice this. His streams started becoming less and less frequent. Videos even less so. Most importantly though his friends noticed, and they were worried.  
"..nap, Sapnap. SAPNAP!" He shook himself out of a trance hearing George yell his name through his headphones.  
"W-What. Sorry zoned out a bit there." Sapnap laughed

"A bit? You haven't responded in like five minutes, we thought you were dead!" Karl said, his voice had a little bit of it's normal pep but still sounded worried.  
"Oh yeah heh- sorry about that. What's going on?" Sap asked. The stream continued on as per usual but he didn't speak as much. Afterwards, he'd left the call. Sapnap walked over to his bed and laid down with a heavy sigh.

His head was pounding. A loud ringing was occupying any sanity he had left. His breathing got shallow and he started to sweat. Everything was too much.  
Slowly Sapnap sat up and called out to see if any of his family were home. Nobody responded so he figured it was clear. Turning over he buried his head in his pillow and screamed. That one scream ended up turning into a fit of crying and yelling.

He was mad. Jealous. Why couldn’t he be happy like everyone else? Why did he have to go through this? It wasn’t fair.

This train of thought only made him sob harder. Shaking he looked over to his bed stand where his phone sat. He pulled up Dream's phone number and called him.  
Dream knew about this part of Sapnaps life and was always there when he needed him, he didn’t always have the answers but he at least was able to calm him down.  
“Sapnap?” Dream asked, he sounded tired.

12:00 AM

Fuck. “Y-Yeah. Sorry did I wake you up?” Sapnaps voice was broken, his throat was dry and you could easily tell something was wrong.

“You did but don’t worry about it, what’s wrong you sound horrible.” Dream said. Sapnap could hear blankets moving around and could only assume that Dream had sat up.

“Wow thanks.” Sap muttered, setting his phone down on his table and laying down trying to calm down. “I don’t know what happened, I just- freaked out I guess. You should go back to bed, I don’t want to keep you up late.”

Dream sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you that you aren’t bothering me by asking me for your help. You’re my best friend and I want to help.”

“I’m sorry.” Sapnap said, his voice was breaking, he started to cry again.

“No, no Sap it’s okay. How long has it been since you’ve taken your meds?” Dream asked.

There was a pause. How was he supposed to answer that, the truth was bad. It had been two weeks and he’d felt horrible since. On his meds he didn’t feel that much better. He just didn’t get as jealous of other people. “Two weeks.” Sapnap answered, deciding to pick the truth.

He could practically hear Dream shake his head. “Sapnap.. You know that isn’t good. Please take your meds. I’m assuming you haven’t had water or anything either so that’ll get you some.”

“I don’t want to. They don’t do anything anyways. Just make me feel like shit.” Sapnap grumbled.

“That’s not true, you know they help-” Dream started

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY DO DREAM. THEY MAKE ME NUMB. I HATE THEM SO MUCH-” Sapnap yelled, his voice started to soften towards the end. The two sat in silence for a few minutes, Sapnap crying softly into a pillow that he hugged to his chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.” He finally said.

“Sapnap I’m trying to look out for you.” Dream said calmly. “I can’t do that if you don’t let me in.”

“I know. It’s hard.” Sapnap whispered. Not having energy to speak any louder. “I haven’t eaten in two days.” He muttered, part of him hoped that Dream didn’t hear him. That he could go on not eating, long enough it could kill him.

“I have an idea, will you eat if I make a snack with you? We can drink some water, and do it all at the same time so you don’t feel like you’re alone.” Dream said softly.  
He thought it through, that could help. Dream was right it might be easier. “Okay.. yeah, that sounds good.” Sapnap said standing up slowly.

Throughout the next few hours Dream and Sapnap facetimed eating a snack together slowly, he ended up taking his meds with some pressure from his friend. By the time both went to bed it was well past 3 am, 4 am for Dream.

“Thank you Sap, for doing all you did tonight. You don’t have to worry about calling me ever and I’m open to doing this again if it’ll help.” Dream said, his voice always calmed Sapnap down. It made him feel safe and happier than usual.

Sapnap smiled a little. “No thank you. I needed this.” He said rubbing his eyes. “Now go the fuck to bed because it’s late for you.”

Dream laughed a little, the audio glitching to make him sound like a robot for a second. “Alright, you get some sleep too. Karl invited you to his stream tomorrow.” He said before hanging up the phone.

What? Karl wanted him on his stream?

Quickly Sapnap pulled up his discord, finding that Karl had in fact dm’d him asking if he’d go to a karaoke stream. Figuring if he didn’t respond now he’d forget, he sent one quick “sure” before laying down on his bed.

Sapnap sighed. This was one hell of a day/night whatever. He was tired, his eyes stung from crying and his chest hurt. Not to mention he felt sick from eating more than usual. It would take some time to get back in the swing of things.

But he could do it.. Right? Yeah, yeah he could. Just needed to try a little harder. He would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Chapters will hopefully come out at least once a month but I have to focus on life things and those are my priority :)


End file.
